LY's

start from 0

2011-11-11T02:19:00.000+08:00

My life is so screwed up now! I wish i could restart EVERYTHING.

a better 2011

2011-01-08T03:24:00.001+08:00

Firstly, BYE TO 2010 & HELLO 2011!
Basically 2010 just flies so fast, nothing much actually.

So i guess everyone's wish for the new year, is that it will be better than the previous year huh.
Hasn't been updating.
Busy with the xmas presents exchange, busy working, countdown etc.

So let me tell eu so far about my january days.

1/1/2011: I was rushing for the train and i fall on the escalator leaving blue blacks on my leg now -.-

2/1/2011: While clearing the tables when working, the leg of the chair just hit my toe nail. Pain!

And today, i went to the doctor. Throat infection, flu, cough. Lots of bitter medicine waiting for me now.
Given 2 days MC.
But later i have a 3 hours pbf class, wondering if i should go or not. I just checked my attendance for that module, it's the worse among all.

Another unhappy news, one of my manager transfering out. HAISSSS
Always i see people and go. Good people will never stay long. But i just hate to see people that i'm close to leave.

School is as usual stress. Prelims are coming, exams dates are out.
And sometimes seeing almost everyone are attached make me even emo.
WHEN WILL IT BE MINE TURN? I'M NOT GETTING YOUNGER!
HAHAHA.

LET'S JUST WISH FOR A BETTER 2011 AHEAD!

don't be disheartened

2010-12-06T00:48:00.001+08:00

Happen to see something.
But it's not that sad afterall i realised.

I think this time round, it's really clear enough.
Anyway, all the best =) (from the bottom of my heart) (:

So when's my turn coming?
HEHE.
Hope so it'll come soon la huh.

I wana be a good girl and study hard.
I loves chilling out sessions.
Want to dift apart from the partying world. from now.
HAHA.

No matter what,
Don't be disheartened, JIA YOU LY! :D

A bottle of beer

2010-12-04T03:36:00.004+08:00

While waiting for my hair to dry, here i'm.

:)
Ok, i've been a very good girl recently.
Never party for WEEKS already.
OH!

Because recently been busy with school work, work.
And i'm chasing this drama real hard at home.

Last time used to find korean drama stupid, until recently this drama was been repeated on channel u.
They are damn good looking and hot la! Especially him HAHA

OKAY How i wish i'm a korean. They just have all the XXX factors.

Maybe now i should just stay at home and chase korean dramas.

Save money, can kill time somemore :D

Lazy to talk about work, about school.

Cause it's just like a routine which you have to do everyday.

Things happen everyday, be it good or bad.

It all depends on how eu look at it.

Don't badmouth, it's not good.

Maybe sometimes will feel lonely.

Maybe sometimes eu need someone to be there.

But even thou there's this someone there for eu now, it doesn't mean eu will be happier.

Trying my best to stay cheerful at all times. :):):)

Somehow i feel that in this world, at least in this country that i'm living in,

knowledge and money really matters alot, alot.

In a blink of eye, December is here already. But i'm still half awake ..

A bottle of beer is all i need sometimes.

A nobody trying to be somebody

2010-11-12T04:01:00.002+08:00

It's 330am in the morning. Worked 11 hours today. Tiredd.
Should change my bad habits of bathing at 3am and sleeping at 4am+ everyday.
Bad for health, bad for skin complexion & big panda eyes. O_O

Anyway just saw something on fb.
I can only say ' i'm stupid, damn thick skinned! '.
HAHA.
A nobody trying to be somebody.
_|_

Today i carried like 4k worth of cash in my bag. So scary la~
And stupid IB asked me to carry $380 worth of coins for them! First time in my life i carried like soo much cash with me and carrying a fucking heavy small box filled with coins from tanglin mall to international building.
I never knew that coins could be that heavy.
&
When i never even thought of running away with the 4k cash but someone else ran away with at most 2k of cash.
How foolish can he be.
DUMB.

I haven't recover from flu since a week ago. :( Tomorrow is finally my only off day, away from school, away from work. But i seriously got hell lots of stuffs to do and a day is really not enough.

1) Go to the immgration center in the morning.
2) Get my ipod repaired.
3) Cut and dye hair.
4) Print all my school stuffs.
5) Book an appointment for laser.
6) Leg treatment.

I need lots of money also. =( But nevermind since my mum is going to sponsor half for my laser. (It's always better than nothing). & Everyone uses IPHONE. I'm going to get one too. But my plan's not up yet. SIGH.
Yay! Excited to see the chanel bag that my mum asked her friend to bought it from overseas! (:

So main focus now: study, work, study hard, work hard. Fuck relationship seriously! Trying to party less also.
Who cares if i have no life. When eu have the money, eu can have any kind of life eu want. That's what my mum told me also :) I've good parents actually.

$$$$ please come along~~

Give me a chance, i promise i'll not let eu down

2010-11-09T02:39:00.002+08:00

I meet new people in clubs,
meet new people through friends,
meet new people in school.

But how many actually lasts more than a day?

Sometimes the stuffs we do seems more like just a normal friend at that point of time.
After a night long of fun,
we will be back to not even hi bye friends the next day.

Really sucks so much when sometimes eu logged into fb and see some of the status.
You wanted to know but eu are in no position to ask.
I can still foolishly wished that it's me.

HOW STUPID HUH.

Crush is nothing. Don't worth any cents.

I don't wana let these kind of stuffs bother me too much anymore!

Maybe people like me, don't deserve anything.

I seriously need to focus more on my studies nowww.

More to come

2010-11-03T01:29:00.000+08:00

I'm SO SO SICK.
LIKE A DOG.

Sore throat
Blocked nose
Cough
Fever

Why must i be sick today?!
Later i have a party to attend!
It's Taha's 2...8th celebration at Zirca!
:(:(
& It's a MUST to attend.

Tomorrow i'm visiting the doctor.
Hope i will be kind of okay at night.

Back to last sat's halloween.
FREAKING AWESOME!

Although i"m dressed like a so normal nurse,
at least its better than last year.

It's still fun overall with all the awesome people!

Anyway, the vampire is really cool! O.O

&&

Friday i passsed my tp! LIKE FINALLY.
So my mum asked me to drive out today.
Omg!
All i can say is SCARY la.

The next thing i'm going to plan is ... ...
LASER SURGERY!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!

Tired of trying

2010-10-25T01:11:00.002+08:00

I feel old already.
Don't have the feel to club anymore or rather maybe would just prefer chilling at pubs with friends.

Why is thai pubs so on the heat now?
Why are almost every guy so enthu about thai girls?

Actually thai pubs are nice places to chill.

Trying so hard to feel nothing when i see pics of you.

Trying so hard to forget you.

Trying so hard to wana be just friends with you.

Trying so hard thinking of ways how to keep in contact with you.

Trying so hard so hard..

How long more to all these of redundant trying?

Headache, headache, HEADACHE

2010-10-21T00:27:00.003+08:00

I went to the doc today.

Bcos i have been having headache for quite a few days already :(
I was sooo scared. :X

Okay, then the doc says this is due to stress and not enough of sleep.

Althou i appear to be not that hardworking, but thinking of the school work and yet still not having the sense of urgency makes me even stress-er.

Sat, my headache was damn severe and there is a PBF test.
I studied before that.
But still, i don't know how to do.

There's no one that i could ask.
I nearly wana just cry on the lecture hall.
But i didn't lar.

In the end, i didn't hand in the paper and went home after the break.
Can eu imagine how depressing it is. hais

I hope my headache will recover FAST.

Another thing, the SM that i'm under for 2 years is transferring out.
Was kind of sad ytd.

Althou we always talk among ourself hoping that he will get transfer out and stuffs,
still kind of weird that he is not around.
Other than his unbearable attitude sometimes, overall he really took care of his staffs.

So guess who's the HOB now,
Catherine.

Everyone says i and her very close.
Maybe cause i'm just a part timer who has lesser or rather no responsibilities as compare to the captain and managers.

&

She is the 2nd in-charge at that point of time so,
i shared with her almost everything.

So now she has became the HOB,
things somehow changed abit. (which i hope is really just abit)

We all know that she needs to be the devil now.

I really have to think before i say anything next time.
And i think we will somehow drift apart :(
Like AWW, SO SAD. =(

GOOD THINGS, GOOD PEOPLE, PLEASE COME :(

MESS week

2010-10-18T01:20:00.003+08:00

This week is a MESS.

Wed's Zouk party.
After the needle striked 12am, when we were planning to go into phuture for a dance,
we were stopped by 4 NEA. =.=
They say wana charged us to court for littering! :(

So, after debating for almost an hour with them,
they took mine and hr's IC.
Lucky it's just a VERBAL WARNING. PHEW!

Then there's some unhappiness going on in the club.

At that point of time, i finally understand,
no matter how hard i tried, be it just as a friend,
it's still pointless.
I seriously don't know why.

Wanted to cry but no tears.
I've been holding on for so long so long, that i feel that i already wasted alot of time.
It's not that i can't get over, i'm afraid to step a step forward.

If i have all the qualities that a perfect woman should have, i will never wana give up.
But yea god is never never fair.

Then ytd went over to my friend's birthday party held in pasir ris.
I was standing outside pasir ris mrt station listening to my ipod while waiting for my friend to pick me up.

Here comes a promoter trying to explain some stuffs to me.
I said no.
He still won't leave.

I take off my ear piece, and he said:

" I thought you are deaf."

@#$(*&^)%$^&#!!!

&&

He threaten me asking where i live and stuff!
Such a fucker!

I was so scared la! :(
He won't come to any good end!

HAHA.

And last thing before i end talking about these nonsense stuffs happening for the week,
He is back.

The one that i emo about a month ago.

When eu are tired of the new toy or lost the new toy eu just brought,
You ended up finding back the old one.
Being treated like a toy really sucks.

Althou i only like drink and party once or twice a week,
I seriously think i need to stop for a student like me.
How to coop between studies, work and play time?

I'm seriously getting so scared so scared noww~
And i'm falling sickk.
=(

I hope all suay things will disappear soon..

最熟悉的陌生人

2010-10-12T00:35:00.000+08:00

还记得吗窗外那被月光染亮的海洋

你还记得吗是爱让彼此把夜点亮

为何后来我们用沉默取代依赖

曾经朗朗星空渐渐阴霾

心碎离开转身回到最初荒凉里等待

为了寂寞是否找个人填心中空白

我们变成了世上最熟悉的陌生人

今后各自曲折各自悲哀

只怪我们爱得那么汹涌爱得那么深

于是梦醒了搁浅了沉默了挥手了

却回不了神

如果当初在交会时能忍住了激动的灵魂

也许今夜我不会让自己在思念里沉沦

You can only choose one, either friendship or love. why?

:C

2010-09-26T23:42:00.001+08:00

Although sometimes eu know eu have no choice but to do this,
the feeling still sucks.

Actually, eu can really use another person to forget this person.
Unfortunately,
I have not found the another person yet.

You can never be 18 if eu are 21.

Random

2010-09-21T23:28:00.001+08:00

Last 2 weeks was kind of a torture.
But i guess things are kind of fine now.
Cause no matter what,
life still goes on.

&

You have a very special name that will make me rmb eu.
I hope eu will be doing fine.
And i know eu are.

School kind of stress.
Still dragging my feet over. =(
Time pass like SUPER FAST.

I'm home all alone.
Parents are away.
Kind of not used to it.

Sometimes we are sad mostly we are not used to the changes, find it hard to adapt.
Ok, dono what to say already.
SIGHHH.

SHITTY MOOD

2010-09-16T00:11:00.003+08:00

Why does the ending always have to turn out to be this way.
HAIS.

Why ar?

='(

='(

='(

Seriously, this is shitty!
Just be out of my life now.

I always hope that i was dreaming.
FUCK!

Forest VS a tree

2010-09-14T00:40:00.003+08:00

You say eu will contact me on sun.
You didn't.

You say eu will go on a holiday with me end of the year.
Still a question mark.

You promise eu will accompany me next weekend.
I bet eu will forget or don't even bother to remember it.

Kind of bother me for the past week.
Maybe i'm sensitive (very).
You say eu wana focus on your upcoming exams.

Somehow, i feel that eu're avoiding me.
I guess i won't let it bother me again now.

If i'm to meet eu again, i want to tell eu this:
I'm sorry for everthing i said.

There will be alot alot of people passing by in your life.

You get to choose who eu want them to stay, but sometimes unfortunately they choose eu instead. :(

Many many other things to do in life.
And relationship occupies a minor part.

- need to study very hard for my degree course which is extremely difficult.
- haven even got a full time job.
- haven even own a car, a house of my own.

Come to think of that, (look at myself)
what rights do i have to ask from you all.
Totally gave up.
HA!

&&

So looking forward to Fri's chalet!
DRINK DRANK DRUNK.
I need it like madly.

Last,
Me and that friend okie already! (:
(Always don't like those don't friend thingy.)
Byes!

How long more?

2010-09-08T02:21:00.000+08:00

OKIE.

My school starts like 2 weeks ago.
3 days per week, maybe sometimes 4.
Almost after every lectures, there're homeworks. =(
SERIOUSLY STRESS.
Cause i don't really understand and there's no one that i can ask. ( So how to do?! )
So difficult to make friends cause all are lectures, no tutorials (like in poly) & people faces changed almost for every module. =.=

So, school really SUCKS now.
Study degree just for the sake of studying. :(:(

NO, MUST ENDURE!!

I got to do something about it.
This week is INSANE.

Sun: 1030-630pm (work)
Mon: School from 12-3, 445-945pm (work)
Tues : School, 330-630pm
Wed: 12-1030pm (work)
Thurs: School (12-3), 445-945pm (work)
Fri: 145-945pm (work)
Sat: School (12-3), 445-945pm (work)

Where's my playing time?! Studying time?!

Who don't want to have someone to care for eu, to be there for eu no matter what happens?
Sometimes, it's not just so easy.
I guess my life now is just work, school, maybe party awhile if my friends ask me & nothing else.

You can just take 1 min to fall in love but maybe a lifetime to forget that person eu once loved so much.
HOW SAD.

I think i'm going to have depression sooon~ HA!

Sometimes, we need a rest

2010-08-13T02:52:00.003+08:00

Genting was really fun.
CASINO, THEME PARK with my friends, OMG.
3D2N wasn't enough though! :(
Cause most of the time were spent in the casino. -.-

I won over 400 RM first night in the casino.
Was quite happy.
And on the 2nd night, i lost 300+.
So i went over to jackpot with my head spinning cos i drank beer before that.
I slip in a 10 RM note into the machine.
After pressing the button a few times, 10 became 77 RM.
HAH!

Imagine if eu're playing a 2 cents jackpot game and min to put in is a 10 RM note.
How many times eu need to press to finish the 10 bucks?
Thats why my friend says, playing jackpot is for those people wana waste their time in casino, yet not wanting to spend alot to gamble.

One of my friend won 1000 over playing three cards poker.
In the end, lost all back in the 2nd night.
We shouldn't be greedy huh, should just grab the winnings and leave.
But if people aren't greedy, casino won't be making money! :S

I want a KL trip LIKE SO MUCH or even better, BANGKOK TRIP!

Seeing all the fb pictures post by friends about their KL trip make me SO jealous! :(
Although i told E i wanted to go for a trip with him, but well ... ...

My school is starting in another 10 days! =X
But then i only have classes on mon, tues and sat.
How coool is it. :D
Let me meet nice people please. :)

And and,
I'm working morning shift and meeting E after that.

Everyday, i'm ~~TIRED TIRED TIRED~~.
SIGH!

Hate/Love

2010-07-13T04:46:00.000+08:00

"If a thing is hidden for long enough, it inevitably becomes a thing forgotten."

But why are some people so hard to forget.
He seems to be in my mind everywhere, at every moment.

Feelings are important but,
What about the other factors?

X_x

2010-07-08T04:24:00.002+08:00

Don't like working life neither school life because of all the EXAMS.
Work, home, work, home = BORING :(
Coming 21 but feels like i have a 30 years old body.

Finally today is my day off as well as tml :)
Going to catch a movie later with ~~GIRL-FRIENDS.~~
Agree that girl needs girlfriends.

But i want to watch this too cause its from thai :X:X (sure SCARY~)
I dono who to ask to watch with me.

Been whining alot recently about this and that.
It's not good.

Coming to my 21st in less than a month but still no plans. ):
Not organising any party as i don't really feel that it's a 'must have' kind of thing.

Mum say: "eu sure? In a lifetime only once."
My ans: " Is 22 years old or any other years gona appear twice?" (laughs)

But somehow, going to other people's 21st make me feels that it's good to have one.
Oh well ...

At a certain point of time, i feel bad towards my mum. :S
Actually she is better than my dad. (HAHA)
She gets me stuffs,
She gaves me allowances even though my dad ask her not to because i'm working now.
What logic, i'm just a part-timer only.

2nd week of August, i'm heading to genting with friends.
I booked my tickets before telling my mum that i'm going cause i know she will allow.

Just now, she told me my dad don't really allow.
Reason: Scare i kena cheat. =.=
I don't wana waste my 75 bucks.

As i was typing this, Spain scored a goal. :)
Maybe they will be the world cup champion this year.
Germany's team -> stress face. X_x

Later will be going to the doc for face treatment.
Wants nice nice skin :)
Sat ph with mario!

Sometimes i just need somebody. He doesn't have to be perfect. Just need him to be by my side no matter what happens.

Illusions

2010-07-06T03:22:00.002+08:00

" He was once my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong."

- W. H. Auden

" I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out."

- Larry S. Chengges

" If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were."

- Kahlil Gibran

Up to now, i'm still thinking of eu :(

):

2010-06-24T01:55:00.003+08:00

Haywire

2010-06-22T02:21:00.004+08:00

Not in a good mood recently.
Don't know why too.
Gets kind of pissed off easily over peanut stuffs. ):

And somehow, i don't think there's anyone who can make me smile or whom i can share all my problems with.

I hate friends who talks to me first, and disappear.
Then what's the point of being friends in the first place.

Hate hi bye friends.

Hate people who ask me stupid questions, talk about stupid stuffs.

Hate people who will only contact me when they need something from me.

HATES THESE 'FRIENDS'.

Hate having nothing to do at night.

Everything just seems wrong, wrong, WRONG.

I didn't do this to anyone.
But why am i getting all these shits from everyone?

I hate this feeling!!

SICK SICK

2010-06-18T03:06:00.001+08:00

Oh i'm sick, really sick.
I need to see the doc tml.

Been sick since 2-3 weeks ago.
But always survive with those pills that i found in my fridge.
Have been torturing my body for weeks.
Asthma attack is acting up! :(

So i think i'm gona wake up earlier to see a doc later.
I HATE medicine.
1 word to describe: BITTER

Guess what, i still told my manager that i can work later at a later timing when the doc will surely give me an mc.
Why am i so hardworking?
LY, GET WELL SOON!

I need to go bath now and sleep.

Let's party later! :)

FUCK OFF so called friends

2010-06-14T02:45:00.003+08:00

SERIOUSLY I HAD ENOUGH OF SUCH THINGS.
You're not the first but eu will definitely be the last.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with eu people.
Maybe i did said something wrong but i've apologised.
&
I'm not getting any reply from eu.
Now what.
I never wanted to know eu all in the first place.
Never wanted anything more than just friends.

&&
OH, so this is what i get for being 'your friend?'
Think of excuses for eu, maybe eu lost ur phone or something.
Eu told me eu won't be like him, like them.
I was fucking wrong!

FUCKING IMMATURE!
JUST FUCK OFF AND DON'T COME BACK AGAIN!!

Maybe sometimes, i should really keep my big mouth shut.
Thats just me.
I mean no harm, no ill intentions.
But always get misunderstood by people.

Always thought that having friends are way better than having foes right.
BUT WELL ... ...

:S

2010-06-12T05:22:00.001+08:00

OKAY
I'm seriously BROKE now. :'(
Work so hard but the pay took like billion billion years to come =.=

I finally know the reason why i cannot save any money.
Because i spend most of my money on ... drinks :X

Ytd went boat quay with Javier and friends.
It was .. okie lar.
Maybe because there are no loud loud music there.
But i still get to sing abit :)

I loves mixing with outgoing people. :B
But Javier got no expression sometimes, kind of bored. HAHA OPPS*

HAIS
Few of my friends just went overseas.
Australia, California, China.
ENVY!
Never even stepped onto the aeroplane before :(
When is my turn huh!

My dad wanted to go into some business.
If he really does, he would expect me to help him.
Kind of happy just now cause i won't scare that i'll be jobless.
Helping in own family business is always better than helping others.
BUT no freedom. =(
Anyway, it's not confirm.
Let's just wait and see what comes along.

YES, finally after going through all the lessons and tests,
i'm going for my 1ST ATTEMPT TP this coming wed!
But, i won't pass :((
Not that i'm not confident.
Just scared i'll be too over confident.
HAHA.
OH GOOD LUCK TO ME!

Maybe Butter later.
But i don't like that place.
But i've got the guestlist.
Should i?
&
Rebel with xuan soon!
Am always picturing the scenerio of just the 2 of us going rebel.
Sure damn funny! keke ^ ^

&&&
SIM haven confirm with me if i have a place there!
OH SHIT.. .. ..

Stay strong

2010-06-07T03:57:00.002+08:00

It have been so long since i last blog.
Been so busy with work for the past 2 weeks.
Working like 6 days per week & longer hours. :S
Hanging out with friends, slept at almost 5am everyday.

Maybe due to lack of sleep and the tiredness from work,
hasn't been in a very good mood these 2 days.

Plus, i was kena hit near the eye on friday by the new part timer that came in.
It was so hurting that i cried.
On the same day, i was kena complain by one of the customer.

I've been working ever since after my Os, first time that i was been complained by a customer.
All i can say is that day wasn't my day and he's definitely a damn cheapskate, fatty ugly guy!

So store manager will be back to work after his 4 days' leave.
Let's see how he will deal with it then. :x
At most i go back and help my mum's friend which i don't feel like. ):):

Kind of think of the past stuffs recently.
I saw this post at fb;
" Never regret the decision you made "
At another perspective, i feel that somehow it's selfish to say that.
In the end, eu are still only thinking for yourself.

There will always be a scar that can never be erased.

&
Suddenly i realised,
i'm really really fucking thin.
Please gain some weight, gain some meat.

9 more days...

BOOM BOOM BOW

2010-05-14T03:26:00.014+08:00

I don't know why i like to take pics using phone when i know the quality sucks.
Lazy to carry the camera around.
Not clear then not clear lo. HAHA. Who cares.

Ladies night was fun.
Free entry + free 5 drinks + drinks that they opened.
But then i don't like zirca cause it's international over there. =.=
Spoils everything.

I loves PH. :)
Music rocks, people rocks.
But they don't allow some people to get in for no reason. ):

Work had been having some issues about our personal life.
Well, it all happened AFTER WORK.
Not as if we are still YOUNG to be manipulate by people.
&

For people who backstab behind,
Be careful that next time it happens back to eu.
=)

I went to SIM.
OMG.
Tell me that i'll be used to studying with bunch of girls! :(
Is studying in SIM what i want?
Tell me, tell me...

Ytd's butterfac was boring.
So much fightings.
Never wana go again! HAH

This world is never fair.. :'(

what goes round comes round

2010-05-12T05:07:00.000+08:00

Someone told me smth today & i was shocked when i heard that.
&
I realised karma does happens. (at least it's happening on me now)
I won't do it again next time =X (HAHA)

Guys are really ASSHOLES.
Maybe not all, but i met one.
:(

Sometimes, come to think of that,
giving up seems hard but what's the use of holding smth that don't and won't belong to eu.

" When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."
-Helen Keller-

This is interesting but sort of agreed with it;

" We think too small. Like the frog at the bottom of the well. He thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he surfaced, he would have an entirely different view.

-Mao Tse-Tung-

My pay took soo damn long to come.
I'm broke already. =(
Gets so upset when my bank money is lesser than what i want it to be.

Graduation day is coming!
Next wednesday.
Kinda look forward cos i get to see almost everyone from year 1 to 3. =D
SIM sort of accepted my application.
Should i go for it?

AND today is ladies' night.
Oh well.....

:'(

2010-05-04T02:58:00.000+08:00

I'm so so so saddd :'(

Getting out

2010-04-30T03:45:00.004+08:00

I have lots of stuffs to blog about.
I seldom wana tell friends about it so i'll just blog here.
:)

So have been busy & having not enough sleep for the past one week.
Certain things happen. Things that i would never do but i did.
=(

21st April, Power house with poh guan and his friends, edward and guan da.
So this is how i know them.

22nd April, mahjong over at edward house until 5am.

23rd April, Zouk with them and some of my secondary schools friends.

24th April, Texas poker over at justin's friends house.

25th, again mahjong over at edward's house.

26th, last practical lesson, feeling damn tired, went amk for l4d with justin and tian shun.

My TP date is confirm! : 16th June, 1145am. ( Still longgg though )

And yesterday power house again with them. =.=

cause edward's going in army next week thats why he wants to enjoy ttm now. (Lols)

And today, i went to xiao bai's for MAHJONG LIKE AGAIN. (I lost 25 bucks -.-)

Now, i'm so sick of clubbing.

So sick of mahjong.

I know him for a week.

Somehow, he caught some of my attention.

& we have been hanging out tgt for the past one week.

I've so many questions about him.

The words he said don't sound convincing to me.

He do not take initiative.

Yet yesterday, i cried over him just because he said he got smth on.

I was wondering why i cried.

Trying to convince myself that i'm not at all crying bcos of him.

NO! :)

You're not worth it, so am i.

This is the guy that i'm talking about. (of cos cannot show the whole face. HAHA!)

& i agree that everything fade as time pass by.

Anyway, he's going army soon.

I wouldn't fall deeper. I promise.

Mum's asking me to stop playing.

DON'T LIKE*** =X

I seriously regretted tattoo-ing :'(

&&&

I want to watch Iron man and IP man! ASK ME ASK ME ^^

I'm going back to work later. *YAWNS*

Wedding dress

2010-04-21T03:44:00.003+08:00

Never should've let you go
Never found myself at home
Ever since that day that you walked
Right out the door

You were like my beating heart
That I, I can't control
Even though we've grown apart
My brain can't seem to let you go

Thinking back to the old times
When you kept me up late at night
We use to mess around
Laugh and play, fuss and fight

I guess it's too late
I'm dancing this dance alone
This chapter's done
The story goes on

Baby
Can't believe that you are not with me
' Cause you should be my lady
All i want is to set your heart free

But if you believe that you belong to him
Promise me, you won't let anyone hurt you
Remember, I will always be here for you
Even if it kills me to see you

In that wedding dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress
See you in that wedding dress
Oh see you in that wedding dress

Snappin' out this misery
Depression this ain't me
But i always turn around
180 degrees

You got control of me
And I, I can't explain
Somebody call 911 Emergency
Before i go insane

Since you've moved on
You took a piece of me give it back
So much pain in my chest
Blacking out, heart attack

And i see you with your man
And it's hard to understand
If we belong, If i did you wrong
Where we even begin

We would always fuss and fight
And it seems nothing was right
But i loved you girl and you were my girl
But you'd never trust this guy

'Cause the things i do when i'm on the stage
They say i'm a superstar
You couldn't understand all the female fans
And then we grew apart

And i just don't get
When you're acting like some other person
But i try my best to hold on
At the times when it ain't working

And everytime that you say it's over
It breaks my heart and i don't know why
'Cause you've done it alot of times
In the past but i get up and try

You said we could work it out
How could you hurt me now
And you moved on to the next
I'm left with an imperfect smile

---------Wedding Dress---------

Thumbs up!

FINALLY, its my off time today!
Only today i'm off for this week :(

hmm, actually promised justin to go queenstown with him later to repair his lappy.
But suddenly rmb i have practical lesson at 105pm. (NEARLY FORGOTTEN :X )
I've missed it once. (Not gona missed it later again!)

& tml i have to pass the checklist stuffs if not have to retake that lesson!
Hate irresponsible LORRY DRIVERS.

& Hate drivers who purposely overtake me yet i can do nothing! @#$*(&)^!

IF i were to acc him to queenstown after practical lessons,
I'll be dead tired like shit for these 2 days.

HAIS. DON'T LIKE THE FEELING OF TIRED.
ESP WHEN I STILL NEED TO WORK WHEN I'M TIRED!

Tml, singing at 7pm.
After that going to reach vivo at 1030pm to meet pg.
Going ph with pg and 2 of his friends!
^ ^

Another thing, actually i wanted to go IB to work after my hours at IS.
IS : 12pm-7pm
IB: 7-11pm
I doubt i will get enough sleep tml so how can i hang on for that 11 hours the next day?
:(

'Cos everyone have been saying IB person are friendly.
Wana see for myself, the feel of working in a new environment & not about that OT money.

I LOVE MEETING NEW FACES!
:D

Just remain like that.
Or just be even better.

Right now, i still feel abit sad that D is leaving.
He is nice, really.
But just too bad.. nice people always don't stay long :'(

If eu can't stay with me forever,
I want friends to stay with me forever.
'Cos i know friends stay longer than couple.

Good people are hard to be

2010-04-15T04:18:00.004+08:00

---断点---

静静地陪你走了好远好远

连眼睛红了都没有发现

听着你说你现在的改变

感觉我依然最爱你的笑脸

这条走路依然没有改变

以往的每次路过都是晴天

想起我们有过的从前

泪水就一点一点开始蔓延

我转过我的脸不让你看见

深藏的暗涌已经越来越明显

过完了今天就不要再见面

我害怕每天醒来想你好几遍

我吻过你的脸你双手缠在我的双肩

感觉有那么甜我那么依恋

每当我闭上眼我总是可以看见

失信的诺言全部都会实现

我吻过你的脸你已经不在我的身边

我还是祝福你过得好一点

断开的感情线

我不要做断点

只想在睡前再听着你的蜜语甜言

This is one of the songs that i love most!

Some songs are really nice.
I think cause of their lyrics, it tends to make one emo easily if eu were to listen to these songs during those silent nights. =(

But, i'm not emo-ing now.

I seriously HATE those people whom only know how to say others and will never reflect on themselves.
Don't mention names.( if not i will become like one of them =X )
Just hope i will meet lesser of such people.

Sometimes, GOOD PEOPLE ARE REALLY HARD TO BE.

When eu're already trying to be a better person to others, yet eu still have to take that shit.

I should start be more optimistic or rather think through in certain stuffs.

I always remembered last time in secondary 1 school life.
I was abit plump, with nerdy spec and bangs back then.
&

My class happened to have only 4 girls including me.
3 of us were quite good friends, the other 2 was considered pretty back then.

So natural the guys would love to make friends with them.
I felt left out.

In order to be like 'popular' like them,
I intiated helping my guys mates to do their homework for them.
I thought by doing so, i can be in their clique.

Thats why i used to rank friends in the first place.

Although these have already past long ago,

But i feel that somehow the world didn't change at all.

People are still so realistic.

Now i would say, i will try my best to be a friend to eu.
If eu wana be out of my life, i won't force eu all to stay.

Sometimes, i suddenly realised how important it is to have a best best friend of your sex.

115pm, practical lessons. :(
I really think that vertical parking is more difficult than parallel parking nia!

Going KBOX at amk later!
Can't wait!
But singing SUCKS. Who cares.

Ice skating that day was cancelled :(
$21.50 entrance fees for 2 hours. Not counting rental of shoes and gloves.
Worth it? My friends say no.

I WANT GO ZOO ZOO ZOO!
I prefer going in group.
Unless that person is someone i'm really very very comfortable with but well ):

I should really sleep soon.
Mum is complaining that i'm going thinner, sleeping late.
&
My appetite isn't that good today.

Hate the feeling of feeling tired yet can't rest.
o.O

E

2010-04-13T00:19:00.003+08:00

Although we always say we will not talk about unhappy stuffs, about the past anymore,
yet sometimes we will still talk and share certain things to our friends.

We learn through mistakes.
&
How i wish i do not have to go through all these before i learnt my mistakes.

I ALWAYS thought i understand eu even though i know eu for only few months.
But always outsiders prove me likewise.

You don't have a choice?

I'm forced to be like that.
I can only be like that.
Never feel so given up on someone before.

Not in any position to say anything also.

I never knew that a person can affect eu so much.

JOKES*

And as for YOU.
Don't make things complicated when it can be just that simple.
It makes me feel so uncomfortable.

I can like a person for long, really long.
But right now, all these aren't important anymore.

Tomorrow 815am practical lessons.
Follow by ice skating.
WEE~ :)

Just believe that the best has yet to come.

Live your life in a more simple way, and you will be happier.

CHANGES

2010-04-06T03:59:00.000+08:00

No one will stay with eu forever.
Even the one eu thought that will stay by your side leaves eu too.

I think i've sort of understand this sentence.
So in my workplace,
people seems to be leaving or being transferred out one by one.

D says that he wanted to leave too.
Maybe alittle sad.
But well, people come and go.

We feel sad because we are not 'used' to the new environment,
not used to without having that person eu used to have, used to work with.

After a period of time when we are used to it, everything will be fine.

That day i had a talk with Elgin.
Kind of find him mature in some ways sometimes.
&

I'm determined to change this time.
ATTITUDE.

Sometimes, sorry can only be used ONCE.
Some are really friends that i'll never wana lose.

Trust myself that i'll put in effort this time.
As long as i manage to pull through, my life will be better :)

I'm consider fortunate.
At least i don't have to support myself.
At least my parents hold a job.
At least i still have that little bit of freedom.

So i should just stop complaining always.
Stop being so emotional.

The past can never be erased.
I missed that chance.
I don't wana look back again.

Suddenly, i missed my practical lessons.
&
Seriously, i hope to pass my TP FAST.
eXcItEd** =D

&&

My working hours sucks.
Only 1 day off this week.
I can't go out enjoy with friends! =(

I wonder,
Why am i working so hard?

Don't give a damn

2010-04-01T02:38:00.001+08:00

It's NOT POSSIBLE to change.
Because it have already becomes a habit.

Why should i give a damn.
Friends treat me like shit sometimes also.
Maybe because they are guys.
&
Some only find eu when they need eu.

Although maybe we seems close, always hanging out together,
but,
do we consider best/good or even close friends?

They won't be the one listening to my problems also.
&
They don't give a damn when i wasn't in a good mood too.

I'm not saying they are at fault.
I've my best to be at least a good friend to them.
But, sometimes i feel that we are actually worlds apart.

I look at YOUR FACEBOOK just now.
&
I fucking given up on eu.

~~Why should i give a damn to these kind of people.~~
~~Why must they exist.~~
~~You made me realise how stupid i've been.~~

PAST

2010-03-29T03:00:00.005+08:00

Last last time i used to think that guys who go clubs often, smoke, drink alcohol are not good guys.
But now, i do change that thinking.

Maybe some really ARE bad, but no doubt there are good ones.
All depends on your behaviour inside clubs.

Recently been going clubs with friends.
Purely just wana chill and enjoy with them together.
Just loud loud music, alcohol and dance, nothing else.

People go clubbing because they have nothing to do.
&
With the effect of loud loud music + alcohol,
it will keep eu happy for that night, don't need to think about anything else.

So everyone,
people who go clubbing doesn't necessay means that they are BAD.
If eu know what eu are doing inside, i think thats not a problem.
:)

So thursday, i went PLAY with a group of girlfriends.
But, not wanting to elaborate much,
i guess i will prefer normal clubs though.
HAHAHA.

Friday, went mahjong at my friend's friend's house after work.
Then, off to give shen han his birthday present.
&
it's late by 2 weeks.
But can see he is happy when he received it lar.
=P

It's really great to have friends that care for eu.
Just those 'care' like a normal good friend.

So what happen during yesterday?
Went esplanade to chill with justin.
&
We or rather, he saw us.
I'm still wanting to save our friendship.
But, from his attitude,
I know we won't be friends anymore.
How sad seriously.
well, maybe this is my karma.
=(

Then, went off to justin's friend's house to play texas.
Nice lor :]
We won $3.40, better than nothing.
Loves making new friends. ^ ^

Been sleeping less than 8 hours everyday.
Eat only 2 meals almost everyday.
Working is tiring.
HAIS!
No wonder i so thin! ='(

My mum and dad is going m'ysia this fri for a few days!
I've to plan what i'm gona do these few days.
Gonna hang out with friends.
I don't wana stay at home!

Last, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
Trying my best to smile every moment.

~~I realised when i treat people good, they don't treat me good.~~
~~When i don't, they does.~~

GOOD NIGHTS.

FREAKING UNFAIR

2010-03-27T03:14:00.005+08:00

SO SO UNFAIR!
WHY?!

Is money really very important?
IT IS, DEFINITELY.

I've got a friend.
He is not that close to me.

That time, he msg me wanting to borrow some money from me.
I lent him, twice.
But not the 3rd and 4th time.
I know the money is not used for smth important.
&
When i didn't lent him for the 3rd and 4th time, he didn't reply and never contact me anymore.

DO I LOOK LIKE AN ATM MACHINE?!
So only when he wana lent some money, then he will think of me.
@#$%^(*&)!

&&

This time, it was another person.
I was the one who initiate of using this money to help him.
Though it might not be alot,
but i don't even bear to use this amount for myself.
It was my hard earn money, seriously.

I work, i help.
He promised he will quit after he settles everything.
LIES.
Now, what i get is nothing.

I help them, i still must see their attitude.
I don't wana help those who are not worth it, can i?

The one who stays is the one that treats themselves better than anyone.

I really believe in karma.

Somehow, i wish UNI starts earlier.
I wana study, wana make new friends.

&&&
Is accepting a new r/s the only choice for forgetting the past one?

FUCKING FUCKING SHIT

2010-03-25T03:55:00.003+08:00

I'm here again :)

Yup, i used 1 month to complete my 20 car lessons.
HAPPY**
&
I think in less than a month, i can book TP le!
But i see the points system, i SIAN half.
No wonder most people won't pass the first time.

I'm always late for lessons.
Damn waste money please.
&
SSDC only about 10 mins walk from my house.
I think the nearer eu live, the even later eu will reach.
I hope i can drive to school everyday if i can get into uni.

Now, damn headache about my 21ST.
Where to celebrate?
Who to ask?
Who confirm can make it?
Theme?
My friend says i should start planning now.
Hate this man!
But i definitely hope that my 21ST will be a good one.

I always took the initiative, ALWAYS.
I know everyone have their own problems.
Just that some don't show.

I show, and i write out.
I'm not feeling happy since a year ago until now.
Maybe i'm not as good as others.
Maybe i'm this, i'm that.

I'm at my max le.
I can't go on anymore.
I'm really tired.

And i don't know why i'm still caring,
When i know you don't even fucking care at all.

I rather be the one that have hurt eu.

Although i envy others how loving they can be,
But i swear,
I WILL NEVER EVER WANA GET INTO THIS KIND OF FUCKING SHIT AGAIN!!

Get the shit out

2010-03-23T01:20:00.004+08:00

4 hours of lessons is cool.
Wasn't tired at all.
Still have another half to go.
:)

I can see that every instructor is different.
Some really wants eu to do well.
So, maybe a minor mistake, they will screw eu up.

Those who don't bother, they just say what they have to say for that lesson & thats it.

So i did went down to SIM today.
With gl and justin, they are nice as they pei me go.

UOL : Banking and Finance.
And its exam-based.
Tell myself that i won't regret.
Won't won't WON'T.

Watch Pandora Box.
Hmm, it's a lame show and i don't really understand.
Maybe just a little funny.
ha-ha-ha.

I thought about this in the train on my way home just now.

If i've told eu earlier that i really don't mind eu as a repeat student.
Really don't mind what eu are doing now.
What will the outcome be?

People will tend to only remember the people who have hurt them and not the other way round.
How true.
Like me towards my mum.

Today i have a short short conversation with her about my uni stuffs.
I seldom get to talk to her.
Cause either by the time i came home, she've fallen asleep or,
she have already gone to work before i wake up in the morning.

I don't really like to face her & even show her attitude sometimes.
We are not as if very rich but,
she say as long as i wana study,
don't need to worry about the money.
They will support me.

At first, i thought it was natural that they should pay for my studies as they are my parents.
She tries to fulfill what i want.
She get me stuffs.

Thus, all my surrounding friends said that i've good parents and i don't have to worry about lots of things.

Maybe because i grew up in such surrounding that i do not need to earn money to support myself or anything,
i tend to take my personal matters as everything.

&
Up to now, i'm still hanging in the air.

Can i just be abit more stronger?

I read this somewhere. It says:

When life gets too comfortable, it become uncomfortable.

Results are releasing later.
&
I hope eu will pass all.
GOOD LUCK EVERYONE.

BORED LIFE

2010-03-22T03:14:00.004+08:00

Life is bored.
Seriously BORED.

Thinking what to do, where to hang out, who to ask during my off days is a BIG HEADACHE.

I'm always out everyday until if at any point of time i'm at home, i feel sort of weird.
Maybe i should spent more time at home, starts to like staying at home.
Bullshit**
:X

Tell eu a secret, i wish i have a bf NOW NOW NOW.
So wish la.
At least won't be so bored.
But he will suffer.

Although i'm trying to convince myself that alone is better in some ways too,
but seeing all the couples around me,
i will go like =.= =.=l =.=ll
Lols.
:(

Im gona have a 4 hours of car lessons later.
OMG.
Follow by going somewhere for my passport photo.
&
going to the uni to hand in my application.

Business Management or Banking and Finance?
Still can't decide.

BORED TO THE MAX.
Club everyday?
Whats so good about being sober.
OPPS.

After that,
Wed and Fri off again.

Can i just have 1 day of your time?
Just the 2 of us.
Play, talk, walk & enjoy like nobody's business.
Hang out like very normal good friends.

GOD, just treat me abit better can? :)

Nights.

Tough decision

2010-03-21T05:01:00.003+08:00

Sometimes in life, we have to make alot of tough decisions.
&
The fact is that i hate making decisions.
But i have to.
No one can decide my future other than me.

HAIS*

People are selfish, seriously to the core.
They only think about themselves.
Maybe i'm one of them too.

&&

If i have the fucking money, i will fucking get eu out of my mind.

How bored can life be.
BORING.
:(

Expect the least expected

2010-03-19T02:53:00.004+08:00

I think i had a nice day today.
:)
Although it was just 6 hours spend with them.
But somehow, i feel kind of 'contented'.

We all went K today.
Yaoren, Jackie, Justin, Guo liang, Marcus & cm.

I know some of my friends care for me.
But i still prefer to face it so i ask justin to ask.
& 'face it' is just another good term.

&&
He did came.
He did sing.
I did hear him sing.

But,
time won't stop.
It's always moving.
After few days later, everything will be different.

If i say i think too much, i will think that eu care for me, maybe just abit, in some ways.
But i don't wana think it this way.
And i will stop thinking,
stop thinking about eu.

This whole scene that happened today, it's long ago being pictured in my mind.
I thought it wouldn't happen, but somehow it did.
I'm greedy sometimes, i asked for more.
I think it's enough this time.
Be contented LY.

&
Thanks Friends (:

Easy yet hard

2010-03-17T03:17:00.012+08:00

I guess it's time to update my blog le.

Been left here for so long.

So first thing,

What about school?

Since 3 weeks that i unofficially graduated.

Applied for NTU.

The person called me 1 day in the morning from ntu saying that i submitted an N level cert instead of an O level cert.

=.=

How careless!

I don't remember where's my O level cert.

GOSH!

So doubt i will get a place in there.

But actually i don't really wana study in ntu cause it's stress and i could only choose engineering courses which i hate.

Not NTU, then will be SMU, SIM.

More keen on SIM maybe cause it's a private school and they have the courses i wanted to study since after my O.

But, it's expensive as well.

Part-time study was never a choice that i will consider.

Actually, i know my parents kind of want me to get into uni also.

I'm so confused.

I don't want to work first cause i think that i still can afford to study for another 3 years.

At least after 3 years, i will work.

Seriously don't know what to do, although my mum says just apply, just study, but well... ...

Second thing, my part-time job.

Been waking up damn early in the weekends that my face kind of have rashes which are red and itchy.

Did bar bar bar.

Tiring than floor.
Hate bangs but like bangs sometimes.

Always wanted to know the limit that i can go until.

Will always get a sense of satisfaction when all the drinks are out at a very short period of time.

Will be proud of myself sometimes.

So somehow they say there will be a 'promotion' for me.

Promotion = pay rise.
Wasn't at all happy.

Maybe there isn't any.

Who knows.

And i already thought of changing jobs.
Just a matter of time.

Last, i enjoyed my day with Alan today somehow.

Watch Jack Neo's film: Being Human

Everyone is talking about him now.

He is the headlines everywhere.

So this is what happens when eu are rich.

Know how to film this movie but dono how to be a human himself.

STUPID.

Rather choose a poor and faithfully guy than a rich and unfaithfully one.

Then we went for a spin and supper.

He is a shy but nice guy.

Why like my status.

I'm thinking but i know the answer.

You have flaws, so do i.

I can accept yours.

The next one that i can accepts means i like him.

Sounds easy yet hard.

My mum always ask me change that attitude of mine.

& i know if i doesn't change,

it will get me nowhere.

It's easy to say eu will change, i thought i can.

But i can't.

Neither can eu.

Once i love something, its hard for me to let go.

I'm born this way.

I'm born with this thinking towards love.

This is not something which i can change easily.

Maybe it's plain stupid and foolish.

But,

I seriously don't think it is something bad.

Everything is just a matter of time.

I know there's nothing as cannot, only whether eu want to try anot.

OVER

2010-03-04T14:59:00.002+08:00

I ended my poly life yesterday.
SUPER SAD AND EMOTIONAL.
Where should i head to now.
Somehow i wish someone is there to guide me...

We can't

2010-02-24T03:25:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, we just can't decide what we want in life.
We can't change anything.
No matter how hard it is for our heart to accept, we still have to do what others say, what others want.

Sometimes, sadly to say, sorry isn't enough.

Now, even a word with eu is hard.
Maybe even moving a step forward seems difficult.

Still, i wish eu all the best.

Dearest

2010-02-19T02:56:00.009+08:00

IT's 19th Feb already!
So fast, so fast.

So, spent my CNY in malaysia.
All the fireworks, lightings, food were just so nice so nice.

Is there a difference between the sky in sg and malaysia?

The fireworks in sg is kind of different from the ones in m'ysia.
Seems like the fireworks were just above my head when i watched it.
Which means the sky is lower in m'ysia huh?
HAHA.

&
the sounds goes BOOM BOOM BOOM. So loud, so loud.

I'm happy that Valentines Day falls on the first day of CNY.
Cause i won't see couples all over with pink, red roses in their hands.
=)
LOLS.

There's this person that i really respect.
My UNCLE.

Ever since my grandfather suffer from a stroke which causes him to have difficulty walking,
my uncle is there to help him with everything.
Everything like how our mums took care of us when we were 1 year old.

He did it with no complains.

He's already in his late 30s.
Yet, he is still single.

My grandma told me that he is planning to stay single for the rest of his life.
He can love a person, but at the same time he scares that the person he loves most leave him.
So he choose not to have that person in the first place.

&&
I promise i will take care of him when he's old.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If eu have a heart, eu will have feelings.
If eu have eyes, eu will know how to see properly.
Learning to take things easy & follow the flow.

Another door

2010-02-09T02:19:00.004+08:00

Been playing mahjong lately until that i'm getting addicted already.
&
Also feeling abit :(

People are leaving one by one.
Kind of feel sad,
kind of miss some of them.
I realised there is not enough time to actually do what eu want.

My 3 years of poly is coming to an end.
I LOVE this sem,
&
defintely in Year 2 as well.

The future of mine seems so scary.
I'm scared to go to the next level.
In poly, everything is plan for us.
We have timetables on what time, what modules we have to attend.
All we have to do is to show our faces to get our attendance marked.
After school will be hanging out with friends.
All the laughters, making fun, studying together, getting stressed up over exams.

To put it this way, i like things to be properly planned for me.
The word 'independent' is still far away from my dic.
I'm not ready, seriously not ready for adult life.

We know that nothing stays forever.
We know that we cannot remain in the same spot forever.
So in the end,
what will stay with us?

I know certain things are actually wrong.
& people will talk about that behind ur back.

Maybe some people don't understand eu.
Maybe some people like to judge a book by its cover.
I don't care what people say, how people think.
Cause they are not important.

Last,
I'm going mysia for CNY this year. ):

IMPULSIVE

2010-01-26T23:49:00.004+08:00

Something happen when the other thing haven end.
Feel likes i'm going back to last time which i don't want.
But i know it won't last.

Everything will end once i graduate.
HAIS.
If only..
If only..

:(
:(

Even before i realised

2010-01-20T01:56:00.007+08:00

It's 20th Jan already even before i realised.

3rd day of week 14,
&

Lesson offically will ends at week 17.

& then follow by exams.

Still have lots of meeting, catching up to organise with friends before they go into ns.

At one point of time, am feeling quite sad to graduate from poly life.

At another point of time, i wish to go into another chapter of my life.

I'm happy for the friends i have made in poly.
I'm really happy at one moment.

There are people who make eu happy,

people who make eu sad,

people who make eu angry,
people who really cares for eu.

I appreciate and i think i will never forget my poly life & all the people i met.

A month later,
everybody will be heading to different directions.

Even if we don't keep in contact,
i still wish we will all be good.

I'm addicted to this recently:

I don't like gambling, just like the process and the fun of it.

The images of eu still appears in my mind.

Let me cherish eu.

Sigh :(

Forgive and forget

2010-01-16T01:00:00.003+08:00

So just now, my friend said something that upsets me alot.
I can only accept.
It's not my fault.
Who can i blame?
I don't want it to be like that,
&
I always hope that this someone won't mind either.
:(

" Forgive and Forget "
It's easy to forgive but its difficult to forget.

You won't know how hurting it is unless eu are the one feeling it.
&
I hope everything will be good later.

Getwellsoon~

2010-01-08T02:20:00.002+08:00

My throat hurts like hell.
I'm coughing like hell.
I'm out of breath.
=(

Everyone is coughing around me.
Thats why i became like that as well.
ARGH!
&
I still ate junk food.

No doctor please,
cos i seriously hate medicine.

I wish someone could give me a bottle of honey water now.
):

So watch sherlocks holmes & chipmunks on tues.
I find chipmunks nicer thou.
SH is abit boring to me.
Like having a literature lesson.

Gotten back my CT & report result.
4 words:
'Never work hard enough.'

I think i'll be skipping whole day lessons later.
Have to go for terence's 21st chalet.

Just hope i'll get well fast and NO fever later.

Actually have alot to say, but suddenly i'm lazy to type + ... ...

Thanks for giving up on me once.
You make me realised that i could actually loves other like the way or even better than the way i used to love eu.

Stay forever

2010-01-03T03:57:00.003+08:00

While waiting for my hair to dry,
decided to post something.

Just 3rd day of 2010 and i felt that it's already quite a good start for me.
&
I hope it remains like this forever.
However, nothing lasts forever.
HAHA.

So today went bugis with friends.
We went to the temple to pray, not me being superstitious,
maybe we are just seeking something within ourselves.

I didn't knew that actually eu can only ask about 1 thing.
I pray for alot though.
Health,
Career,
& of cos,
love life.
:)

This is what it says:
One have access to the four seas and five lakes. When sailing your mast is straight with the trade-wind guiding it. Your ship is loaded with precious stuff.
One's livelihood is good. The one spends no effort. Yet one have lots of joy and money.

This is just something ' extra ', we still have to work hard towards our goal.
Money won't fall from the sky though.

& My parents brought a car today!
Yeah-ness!
Though it's nothing but i wanted a car lar huh.
Now it's just the licence.

I brought 5 tops today.
Abit heart pain,
but i simply just like them~

&&
Welcome BLACK hair!
:)

School's starting on mon,
treasure those times in school.

I need to sleep now.
It's 8 hours of standing later.
):
NIGHTS.

HELLO TO 2010

2010-01-01T20:27:00.006+08:00

So 2009 ended yesterday.
&
I never went for any countdown party with friends which is oh so sad.
I guess i did miss alot of fun.
I rmb saying to all my friends that i don't wana go back.
But now, i would rather stay there than to be back.

Most of them said that 2009 wasn't a good year for them and they hope that 2010 will be good.
And 2010 will be = my 21ST.
DAMN SAD OKAY.
='(

In the past 20 years, indeed i guess 2009 is damn bad year.
In the beginning of year 09, i think i hurt someone and did stuffs that will make others think worst of me.
And because of this, there is already a crack created in my second r/s even before we started.
I care alot alot for him but i did it in a wrong way,
i tried to control him.

I don't treat relationship as a game.
I always don't think that love must come with alot of conditions.
But my actions back then reflects the other way.
So i did all that i could to save.
In the end, my efforts still went deep down the drain.

I thought i would understand eu when i only knew eu for less than 6 months as compared to someone whom knew eu for more than 2 years.
No matter what they said, i still insist doing it in my ways.
But somehow, maybe they are right.

&

Again, i lost another best friend of mine bcos of this.
I said things that hurt him.
It was so hurting that he really gave up on me this time.
If we were to see each other outside,
i guess we are worst than strangers.

&&
Also, my grandpa's health is deteriorating.
Just hope he will be fine.

Often, when we know it's our fault,
there is nothing that we can do.
All we could do or say is:
" It's my fault, sorry."
&
They will then put a full stop to it.

My friend told me,
put urself in their shoes.
What will i do if i were in his shoes?
I ponder awhile.
I guess i will do the same thing as he does.
Cause this is what i did to others too. ):

I failed twice.
I don't wana fail again.

I wonder why is clubbing and money so important to eu.

What's my new year resolution?

The next one that comes along, i swear i will never give myself another chance to regret again.

Gonna obtain my license soon, my car is coming! :)

All my friends and family will remain healthy forever!

I hope my future won't be so blur like now.

I'm gona smile and be more sociable.

I wish all the sad stuffs will just be gone like year 09, which will nvr exist again.

& also last,
everything will go smoothly for eu.

Hope it will really be a HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Merry christmas

2009-12-25T05:06:00.005+08:00

Looking at the huge crowd at orchard.
&
Thinking that i have to rush down to mac at 12am to do my report,
I'm feeling damn sad at that moment.
Cause i have to cancel my party at double o.
And also my pub session with Sugi.
ARGH!
=(
But no choice.
And i left quite alot for Alex to complete.
=X

I reach home at 4am.
I have work at 930am.
Now is 515am.

I need to pack bag,
wrap present.
=.=

&

Before i can get started dreaming,
i'll receive a morning call.
DAMN SUCKY.

It was the first time that i'm not gona spent my christmas and new year in singapore.
So weird.

Why even thou sometimes we know the answer ourself, we still wana ask for the answer?
Why still ask for the answer when eu know eu are gona feel sad upon knowing the answer?

When people say " get prepared for the worst ",
eu knew before hand and already prepared for the worst, but why still feels sad when the worst happen?

Last,
MERRY CHRISTMAS & A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I'll miss everyone :)

FOOL

2009-12-22T02:16:00.005+08:00

STUPID.

I don't know why.
It's been soo long.
It just won't go off.
Am i not trying hard enough?

Christmas is coming.
2009 is ending.
&
I'm graduating soon.
I had 2 very happy christmas for the past 2 years.
What about this year?
Suddenly i hate christmas cause i'll be leaving singapore.
2009 doesn't seems to be a good year for me.
I just miss eu sooo much.
Is everything fated?

Can i stay like this forever?

I know this is nothing at all.

FOOL.

One wish

2009-12-21T00:51:00.005+08:00

If i could have just one wish,
i would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath in my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that i could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

MIXED

2009-12-20T03:47:00.026+08:00

Yesterday BBQ was fun!
But now when i think back, damn malu lor.
=X

My 3 years friend.

He can be idiotic sometimes but still cute.

PUKE* lols

JUSTIN!!!!!!

Shawn, the one in green,

is also my 3 years friend.

He is an introvert.

I'm surprised he came.

His results are freaking goood.
No play play.

But still, he did teach me during CTs and exams.

CHEERS :)

I didn't took the pics with my camera cause i'm lazy to install CD & all the stuffs.

Hp photos don't turn out as nice as camera ones. =(

Look at yk's EARS. -.=

HAHAHA. Alibaba.

All of us.

Just got to know most of them this sem.

They are nice & easy going. =D

How i wish we can be this happy forever.

Haven upload to FB.

Look at the time now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So just now chill out with 2 Ts after work.

When do we eat alot?

When we are stress?

Happy? Sad?

I guess for me is mixed.

Just now i ate a bowl of mushroon minced meat noodle + half spring chicken + 1 bowl of porridge with veg and egg, all at one go.

BLUR~

I don't like. Taste awful.

Browsing through FB photos.

Just feel...

Just tell me harshly once again.

I never ask for anything more than your love.

HOLIDAY

2009-12-17T02:12:00.003+08:00

Okies, shall post something before i go to bed.
Have not been sleeping since tues afternoon.

Panda eyes are knocking on my doors already O_O

Tues at 12pm, went to sch's library and study.
Went home at about 11pm with friends for a shower & cab back down to the mac and study throughout the night and den straight to sch for paper after breakfast.
&
I think i flunked the paper seriously.
Staying up and studying whole night is definitely not a wise choice for me.
My brain was like a pierce of white paper when i went in for the test.
='(

After paper, went bugis & K with yk, cs & elgin.
After 4 hours of singing, headed to ray's condo as it was still early.
Cards + Mahjong.
&&
I fell asleep.
So still have report to rush.

Katong have lots of nice food!
Fri, work + BBQ + power house?
But i dono if i can make it there in time.
=( + =)

I wish that the route would be longer than usual today.
I'm SO SLEEPY.
I think i'm going to miss eu through the holidays.
I don't really like holidays. haha

Somehow

2009-12-15T00:31:00.005+08:00

Somehow i can sense ur gentle-ness yesterday.
But i feel your fierce-ness today.
I did what i want to do already.
&&
Somehow i feel that it's the end.
Somehow i feel that eu don't like me.
Somehow i feel that there is another one.

Or rather, maybe it doesn't matter anymore.

People says it's only 3%.
I doubt there is even 0.01%.

I don't need anyone to be near my place waiting for me,
i rather eu are the one.
But somehow, it just won't come true.

A part of me

2009-12-09T02:04:00.003+08:00

Hais.
Still stressing my brain out thinking how to do the mode operations.
I'm having automation control's lab test later.
&
I believe it will be difficult as the lecturer always say less than 10% of the class will pass.
OH MY GOD!
:(

&&
After that, studying wafer.
I have to get the common test format qn paper done as fast as i could.
I need to ask Jenny for help.
This is the consequences of not going for lessons.
Hope she is free to teach me.
So many things to DO!

I don't like people who have motives.
Don't give the ' keep a distance away from eu ' feelings.

No matter how, there is still a part of me thinking, & wanting to help eu as much as i can.

Please bless me with an easy paper later.
Some people just treat me transparent when they see me.
I thought up to this age, we should be mature in our thinking thou.
My retribution?
* Super tired *

It's over

2009-12-06T23:27:00.004+08:00

Maybe sometimes when eu know the ans is better than remaining at the same spot.
No more favorites.
No more ring.
Always, i have to respect other people's decision cos nobody bothers about mine.
It's over.

Black Friday

2009-12-05T02:46:00.005+08:00

Today is not Friday the 13th but everything seems to be so wrong.
So i was late for an hour for wafer lecture and the lecturer was going thru CT format.
When she was going thru the calculations,
my head was like full of ????????
SHIT!

Monday, sem proj presentation & quiz.
Tuesday, com net & wafer lab tests. Com skills assignment 2 & resume.
Wednesday, automation control lab test.
Thursday, power E lab test.
Friday, finally a rest day from lab tests but still have school.

Automation report due in 3 weeks time.
Following week, CT.

OMG, tell me how many things i need to do.
=(

Then today i saw someone & he pretends that he never see me.
It's ok and i messaged him, asking if i could meet him and sort things out face to face.
He didn't reply.

He told my friend that he don't want see me and most probably scold me when he sees me.
He even says:
if eu (my friend) and her (me) ask me out, i would meet eu (my friend) cos i don't wana lose eu as a friend.
At that moment, my heart sank.

Words can be hurting, and the person who wrote such things won't know how hurting it is because he is the one writting it and not the one feeling it.

After that, was rushing off to work.
Never plan to work on weekdays actually, but my manager say they are short of people.
So i try to help as much as i can.
I work from wed to sat straight.

Lesson ends at 450 and i have to start work at 530.
Without saying bye to most of my clsmates, i walked as fast as i could to the mrt station.

It was cold, it was drizzling.
Get changed into my working attire and it's already 510.
I know that i will sure be late.
I need to call my manager and inform him.

Just at this time, my hp batt went flat.
Thinking that it might be faster if i take a cab down,
i hop onto a cab.

" Orchard."
" Cannot, take the next cab."
Fine, i hop on to the next cab.

" Going where?"
" Orchard."
" Cannot, cannot."
Out again. -.-

In less than 5 mins, i went in and out of the cab 5-6 times.
I'm already rushing for time and yet they don't wana fetch me to that place.
So pissed off that i slammed their taxi door.
@#$%^&(#%*!
Feels abit bad now. haha.

Finally, i got into a indian driver's cab.
The song was playing, the air- con was blowing, the rain hitting the windows.
And i cried.
Damn malu please.

The traffic was heavy.
I wasted $17 on cab when MRT seems to be faster at that point of time.

At work, the manager was beside wiping cutlery.
& it came a cappuccino order.

I was too eager to prove that i can do a nice cappuccino bcos i know he is observing.
But, it didn't turn out well.
Instead of foams, i think it's all bubbles.

When eu are too eager to achieve something, eu won't normally do it well at that point of time.
Lesson learned.

My thinkings are too fairytales already.
I thought that everything should end with happy endings.
I thought people always say, You reap what you sow.

Last, i left my bracelets at the toilet while changing.
I doubt it will still be there tml.
What a suay day seriously.

SIGH

2009-12-03T00:46:00.002+08:00

Eating my pathetic dinner now.
Suddenly, i plucked up the courage to msn someone first.
With no other intentions, i just wana help him as much as i can for his studies.
But i dono whether he receive the things that i wrote anot cos he never reply.
Guys are hard to understand anyway.
=X=X
Don't anyhow think.
Off to bed soon~

Awesome thurs & fri

2009-11-28T02:39:00.020+08:00

Thursday & friday was awesome!
Thurs after sch headed to jenny house.
So we waited until like 10pm then we set off to clarke quay.
& we drink, drank & drank.
+
Singing.
Nice.
But, same old stuffs happen again.
Uncontrollable.
Wilson vomitted on his way home and Ivan left his hp on the cab.
=(

What a face wil.

CHEERS~

Friday is a public holiday!

No schooling.

WOOT!

And my classmates & i headed for paintball!

Damn FUN lar huh.

Never regret going. =)

You all should really try.

I cannot feel the pain cos i never kena the paintballs.

HAHA.

Too pro already.

But the weather + our body temperature cause foggy-ness in the masks that we wore.

That make us cannot see properly.

I think most of us are just shooting blindly.

O_O

I'm the RED team!

A picture together before we go. =D

Dinner followed by L4D2!

I'm going to complete all the stages no matter what.

It's nicer to play togther with friends than to play with the com.

&&&

Someone is just so quiet all the way.

Not used to it.

I thought he should be talkative.

Yup!

I'm talking about eu.

Don't act shy PLS.

HAHAHA.

I have tried. But i failed.

A clown

2009-11-25T02:18:00.004+08:00

People can be idiotic sometimes.
I don't badmouth eu saying eu are fat or ugly in front of eu, neither do i say it behind your back nor making fun of eu because eu are fat or whatsoever.
Because i believe that there is always a karma to everything.

Maybe eu don't know how hurting it is to the other party when eu said something negative about that person or even taking it as a joke and share with the rest.
Why don't eu just take a look at yourself in the mirror first.

And yet, i have to like take it unseriously.
I still choose to stick my face on other people's cold butt.

When people already make things clear to eu,
eu still thought and hope that he will take back his words which he will never.
You help him without him knowing.
Care for people who won't care/cry for eu.
&
In return, eu are being seen as a clown.
So tired.
How i wish these people don't exist at all.

3%

2009-11-22T17:40:00.002+08:00

Just woke up not long ago.
Feels great to sleep until so late.
YAWNS*

I never slept at all yesterday until this morning 8am.
I had a damn early breakfast mac with someone at 530am just now.
He is someone who was once so close so close to me.
The first person who make me so sad so sad.
The first person whom i cried so much for once.

&

I was surprised that we can have breakfast together in the same table one day.
Maybe he did changed abit.
To someone who really goes all out to excel in everything he does,
who really spends his every minute and second wisely.
&
He is into investment.
Maybe if i have the chance, i will ask him to teach me how to invest. :)
I said to him, that whoever becomes his gf would be very very stress.

So, i think we had a great talk.
He is one who undergo alot of things so as compared, mine are just peanuts.
But, still hopes everything will go well for him.
=)

&
At that moment i was thinking,
when and will we have the chance to be like that.

So bored now.
Going amk for dinner and lan.
L4d 2 is out!
Gotta try.
Damn,
I forgotten that this friday is a holiday.

-.-

2009-11-21T02:21:00.017+08:00

Last few days was quite hectic.
Working on 2 weekdays.
Reaching home everyday around 12.

Tuesday was my com skills presentation.
I was nervous.
My voice was like... & ...
Our group got only a B.
&&&
My individual marks won't be any better.
Cause i was talking & laughing after i finished my part with my group members which the lecturer say it was rude to do that.
HAIS.

Wednesday attended automation control lab module.
While the rest of the group have already finished their program,
i'm still stucked at the ladder diagram.
:(
Almost cried.
Am i stupid?
SHIT.

Yesterday i went to watch my gf is an agent with J.
It was funny and nice.
I like it.
2012 was nice too. :)

School can be boring sometimes.
Friday's 2 hours of sem proj lesson was always cancelled.
So lead to 3 hours of break.
See how bored am i.

Damn wilson.

After com net lesson, went buffet-ing with friends.

We wanted korean buffet but ended no more buffet.

Damn malu as we have to leave that place after we have already sit down.
So we headed for the jap buffet beside.

$47 for a buffet.

Is it expensive?

These are what we ate.

I LOVES crab. But it's soo troublesome to eat them in public.

Sushi!

Not many varieties though.

DESSERT time.

Looks nice and cute but it's not that fantastic actually.

Let's take a photo. SAY CHEESE!

& it's hongrui birthday today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY :) !

I'm not working on sat!

Like finally.

I'm going for Jane's 21st later.

But i don't have floral clothes. :(

My parents were be going away for few days again.
=D

Almost everyday my face looks like that.

BORED.

You never changed.

Maybe the only thing that eu change is that there is just only eu now.

Sleep well.

Nights~

:(

2009-11-14T00:25:00.003+08:00

My friend show me this message:

如果你不爱一个人，情放手，好让别人有机会爱他。
如果你爱的人放弃了你，请放开自己，好让自己爱别人。

有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的。
有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃。

人生中有许多种爱，
但别让爱成为一种伤害。
如果真诚是一种伤害，我选择谎言。
如果谎言是一种伤害，我选择沉默。
如果你真爱一个人，就应该让他幸福。

I've been writing & repeating all these numerous times.
But i just feel so troubled over all these.
My friends talked to me.
Some said this, some said other things.
At one point of time, i was happy.
At another point, i'm just so sad.
I just wish i could tell eu how much i misses eu.

Wishful thinking

2009-11-12T02:01:00.004+08:00

Imagine being the only person using a typewriter in a room full of computers,
or watching a comedy movie in a cinema which eu think it's funny, and eu laughed,
eu realised that there are nobody laughing other than eu.
This is what i'm feeling right now.

So much difference between yesterday & today.
I was hoping, wishing & i thought.
HA-HA-HA.
I think i can only laugh at myself.

If there are 2 plates of fried rice infront of eu,
1 looks appetizing, smells great & with lots of seafood toppings.
The other plate looks burnt & only with a few slices of meat.
Which one would eu choose to eat?

If eu have $$,
would eu get a $500 worth of wallet or a $50 worth of wallet?

Everybody like good and beautiful stuffs & not the opposite.
Similarly, everyone like their friends/family or anyone to treat them good, at least with their true heart.
&
I always thought that as long as eu treat that person sincerely, he/she will do the same.
But it's not.

D said something harsh to me.
1st time that he talked to me in that tone.
But i know he meant well.

You have already told me your ans long long ago.
I thought i can change something or that eu want me to do something.
But, it's just my wishful thinking.
ALL ARE JUST MY WISHFUL THINKINGS.

&&&

I swear i'll stop.
How unfair is life.
fuck.

Sat

2009-11-08T23:17:00.007+08:00

So today, i've got a little of mood to update.

I realized that there are alot of November babies around me.
But not all i give them presents.
:(

So abit about work.
Hmm, don't really enjoy working already.
Just feel that way especially today maybe also because someone is not around.
When Ivan is on leave or anything for more than a week, things tend to be different.
Peoples, attitudes.
&
lots more but what's the use of writing here.
So enough about that.
SIGH~

So went to roti prata house at Thomson for dinner with D.
D is a ........ guy.
How should i explain?
No matter how unhappy, or how much complains i have over working issues,
he will always be there to listen and encourages me.
He always told me, no matter what eu face outside, i'm inside supporting eu.

So today without him, i feel abit insecure.

Ytd i kept telling him that its 7th November.
I wanted to tell him what i wana say, how i feel, but i never say out in the end thou.

It was a cold night,
& i was taking bus 167 from Thomson to Sembawang with just less than 6 people in the bus.
With my mp3 on,
was listening to this chinese song and tears begin to flow down.
Why?

Nights.

Nothing lasts

2009-11-03T00:39:00.004+08:00

Someone says:

All good things will end eventually one day.

When one thing ends, something else begins.

I'm confused, confused & confused.
So lost.
So don't wana deceive myself anymore.

:(

Halloween

2009-11-01T23:47:00.022+08:00

Fri 's live band was nice~

But the place suit guys more than it suits me.

Now i know what kind of place it is, what type of people inside.

It definitely needs alot alot of trust.

Forget it.

Sat 's halloween was fun!

With cool people with their cool dressing.

A pity that i never take pic with those 'bloody' people.
Next year, i will join in the fun.

I like this ghost. HAHA

Omg, see the face. It's scary~

So 2 days of fun are over.

Tml have a presentation.

Have got no ideas yet.

My friends say that they are getting bored talking to me.

I don't really feel like talking nowadays.

I just wana stone.

I'm so tired.

Slept so little.

I'm damn broke now.

Sucky mood

2009-10-29T23:39:00.004+08:00

Hmm, my parents & my younger bro will be going to malaysia to visit my grandfather tml for 3 days.
They have to go there once every 2-3 weeks now.
So, i'll have to settle the 3 meals myself & wash my own clothings as well.
:(

I can stay over at friend's house.
Or ask my friend over.
Wander around outside until morning.
So bored at home lar huh.

I was abit upset when i heard what jenny told me.
By right, this is what i owe eu, i know.

I'm in your shoes before.
When at that moment, i did what eu did to me to another person.
I don't appreciate at that point of time, just like the other person.
He doesn't too.

But i don't regret & won't ask anything back from him.
People always say,
If eu treat them good, they will treat eu good in return.
I don't seems to agree.

I'm not in a very good mood these few days.
I've think thru certain things.
I don't wana deceive myself.
I don't wana face it.
I realised there's no one i can really talk too.
Suddenly,
i just wana be alone.
I just wana get dead drunk.

Too good to be mine

2009-10-28T01:14:00.004+08:00

Sometimes i'm thinking:
can eu just turn back and look who is behind eu?
Do eu think like the way i do?
Or
are eu holding back like the way i do sometimes?

I don't hate eu, neither are eu.
I don't know how to react at that point of time when eu gave me a smile.
At that moment,
i'm just so looking forward to every networking lesson.

I always don't feel good.
It's always about pretty faces and fantastic figure in every guy's mouth.
But, eu don't.
This one factor is enough for me to cover away all other bad factors.

I've think through & realised,
eu will never hold back like the way i do.

Everybody like pretty faces & fantastic body.
Maybe eu are just too good to be mine.

Friends

2009-10-25T01:47:00.005+08:00

Friends and friendship are one of the best things to have happened to mankind.

Just imagine what our lives would be without friends? I am sure, it would be horrendous and terrible.
The moments we share and spend with them are etched lifelong in our memories.

Moreover, I believe that as you grow, you get a whole new perspective of friendship at each level.
But everything is not rosy in this life.

There can be a dark side to this, as well. It could very easily happen that you made friends with an individual and after knowing that person for sometime, you think that this is not going to work out, for various reasons.
The reasons could be that person's behavior, personal reasons or any other reasons.

Friends are divided into different groups:

- The ones who's there in times of trouble and whom we can depend on. A friend who knows our every mood & brightens cloudy days.
One who's slow to criticize, but quick to offer praise.

- Friends that need eu only when they need eu.

- Hi & Bye friends.

- Friends that betray eu & even more that are worst than that.

Maybe to eu, i'm just someone who needs eu when i needs eu.
But eu are definitely more than that.
I'm putting myself in your shoes.
& i know that there is nothing i can do if this is what eu want.

I wana treasure friendship.
Just like me as a friend.

ABCD's story

2009-10-23T23:55:00.004+08:00

Once upon a time, A met B and they fell in love with each other.
B will try his best to make A happy.
Both thought that they will be the one for each other.

A never likes night life whereas B is a night life person.
A tends to be unreasonable at times & get angry over peanuts things.
As a result, they always quarrel.

One day, A realised that she and B are drifting apart.
A then asked B what happen.
B says that maybe they should separate for awhile.

A couldn't accept it & insist B to give her another chance.
But it did not turn out to be what A expected.

During that period of time, C helped A alot.
By accompanying A when she is down & sad.
&
By helping A to get her and B back together.

C always tell A not to give up easily as he thinks that this is not what B wanted as well.
After hanging on there for a period of time, A scolded C for always giving her false hopes.

A decided to give up.
A told C that maybe they should stop contacting each other for awhile because C makes A remind of B.

So A spend most of her time working and met D.
After seeing & hanging more often with D, A thought that maybe he is the next person.

But D has a gf.
D always say he misses A.

After hangoing out for a even longer period of time,
A realises that she don't misses D like that way D do.
A doesn't enjoy D's company as much as expected.

D thought that A likes him.
A didn't bothered to explain.
But A don't.

Months later, A saw B & C.
A wanted to contact C back.
C didn't reply.

A is still worried for B.
A wanted to help B, but there is nth she can do.
A still misses B deep in the heart.

But, A & B can never be together again.

A told D about this.
D ask A not to think about the bad things she & B shared.
Think about the happy things they shared together once & smile.

We might not get back the same taste like before at the same place having the same food.
Because you enjoy the food at that point of time.

I watch the deadly tsunami just now.
It's always said:
People will only treasure the ones beside them when they are going to lose it.

Change

2009-10-20T22:45:00.005+08:00

My mood wasn't that fantastic this morning.
Until i attended this tutorial lesson.
" Professional And Interpersonal Communication Skills "
At first, i thought it was just another redundant module.
But after the lecturer go through what is it all about,
i don't find it redundant anymore.

The topic taught for today, " Change Management "
We will all have to go through changes in life.
And we have to try to adapt to it no matter what.
Some people tend to adapt to changes in a very short time,
whereas some need a longer longer time.

How people respond to changes?

Contentment ---> Denial ---> Confusion ---> Renewal

Contentment
We feel content and don't see the need for change. Life is good. We are centred, focused and in control.

Denial
Most people's first reaction to change is to go into this, where we act as if everything's okay when at a deeper level, a little voice nags us that things are a mess. We stay here because we don't know or don't want to get out.
For most of us, sooner or later, we will acknowledge the information, feelings and advice around us, and we become convinced that the changes before us is real.

Confusion
You're neither here nor there. The old way is unravelled, the new way is unclear. Living in uncertainly.

Renewal
Full of possibilities to bring out a solution or outcome to the change.

I think i'm stuck in confusion for too long already.
:(
Maybe some thinks that it's rubbish though.
It's quite inspiring lar huh.

Hais, i need to complete this assignment by next week:
Describe the last time you faced an important change. It must be a change that you had no control over - something you did not initiate, but affected you and required you to adapt.

I know what to write but don't know whether i should write that anot.
If not i have no more ideas already. =(
&
I'm trying my best to adapt to changes now.

I just hope eu will do well.

The Truth

2009-10-19T18:40:00.009+08:00

I reach home already.
It's like damn freaking early.
I hate it!
&
So not used to it.
What to do,
school starts already.
Stupid sem proj, every 2 weeks must present 1 time.
!!!!!!!!!!

D asked me how was my first day back in school today.
I wanted to tell him everything.
I wanted to tell him i'm not feeling very good today.
But,
he is busy working now,
+
i don't think he wants to listen to the the things that i want to say.

I miss working life seriously.
I miss going back home together, movie together, eating together & sharing what we have in mind together.
It's like so carefree.
But now,
even if i'm not ok,
i must also show a ok face to everyone.
&
Must act as if nth happen no matter what.
This sucks.

Wil says don't write the things that i told him just now in my blog.
I can only say,
Your expressions show everything.
&
I know the truth won't turn out to be the one i wanted.
Give me afew more days to digest the truth, the fact.

Be contented

2009-10-16T01:46:00.008+08:00

My throat is still fine after 6 hours of singing.
I can only say my singing sucks.
:(
Watched the 'Darah'.
Bloody + gross.
:X

Someone said this,
I'm not like eu all who have parents to pay everything for eu.
I need to work and earn money myself to pay for all my expenses.
I feel alittle =( when i heard this.

Tell me not to waste money.

Tell me to show lesser attitude.

Tell me to treat others the way i want them to treat me.

Tell me to be contented with what i have.

Tell me to appreciate other people's kind intentions.

Tell me not to compare myself with others.

Tell me to live my life for myself and not others.

Tell me to be happier.

I know that there are alot more people out there who are less fortunate than me or rather us.
But, we still complain over what we have, over tiny little things.
When will i understand this?

Last,
I can't figure out this.
What makes 2 person fall in love with each other?
What makes 2 person to be able to stay together forever?
Nights.

不完美

2009-10-13T18:57:00.003+08:00

你常常说我很完美

没人能取代我给的一切

我就以为我努力更完美

我们就会永远

完美并不美我们多虚伪

你让我的好变成一种罪

完美并不美当你爱了谁

我的完美也只是不完美

後来你说我太完美

值得更好的陪在我身边

你不是我你怎么能体会

你有多么珍贵

我的完美成了罪

Praying hard

2009-10-12T23:50:00.004+08:00

Finally back to blogging.
Last few days was quite hectic.

Sat,
consider the busiest day every week in IS.
I hate Oties on that day cause he acted like Ivan.
Shout like nobody's business. =.=
&
Thinking that i have to do morning shift with him the next day,
i was complaining to D all the way from orchard to marina and back to woodlands.

Sun,
Business was like slow.
When he came back from break,
he was holding to 2 boxes of Bakerzin.
&
1 box is for me sia!
Another is for them to share.
A heart-shaped chocolate cake.
Kind of freaked me out. =X
Went to watch 500 days of summer.
It's not funny + i don't understand.
Been watching not nice movie recently.
=(

Mon,
I spent $300+ just now.
But luckily, half is from my mum.
Work more = spent more.

Tml is pay day but i'm not working. :(
Initially, tml should be going singing with my friends.
But change to thurs cause hr wasn't able to go as something crops up last min.
Was kind of sad at first cause i really REALLY wana sing so much.
But nevermind, thurs will be 7 hours of singing if everyone's punctual.
Thumbs up* :D

Maybe i face eu too much recently until i've this thought that,
with my mp3 on,
i really don't mind going home myself.

My mum told me a bad news just now.
My grandpa in malaysia, suffer from a stroke, causing paralysis.
&
They are going back this Friday to see how he was.
I wanted so much to go back.
But,
i scare i won't wana come back.
I scare i will cry so hard so hard.

2 weeks ago, i went back with my parents to visit them.
He is still healthy and active.
I noticed that he cough alot and nobody cares about it.
2 weeks later, this happens.
Before i left that place to singapore, i was praying to god.
I say i hope my grandma, grandpa & uncle to be healthy and happy.

I'm so sad.
I'm so worry.
I want my grandpa to recover.
='(

I supposed

2009-10-08T01:03:00.003+08:00

Hmm, today is a not bad day.
I had my ftt at 1145am.
&
I took a cab there cause i couldn't wake up.
Having the ' SURE FAIL ' mindset, i was thinking of skipping it initially but luckily i didn't.
Because i PASSED!
& i didn't study as compared to the first attempt i did.
=)
Tp next.
But then, which instructor to choose?
How do i book?
How do i pay?
All the how-es.

Thinking of having a car of my own makes me excited.
I can go for a spin anytime i like.
My bro wouldn't be sharing with me as he likes bike more.
HOHO.
Hope it won't be that long.

After that, had lunch & movie with D.
' Accident '
It sucks seriously.
I wanted to watch surrogates but cause of the timing, we skipped that.
Regretted.

After movie, tennis with friends.
My skills was kind of bad. :(
They told me that the timetable was out.
&
I'm not in the same class with the ones who click with me.
&&&
I had one module that will be taught by my dear fyp assessor WONG.
That idiotic Wong.
I'm gona CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE!
I'll call my mentor early in the morning later.
I hope i'm able to change to the other module group.
Sigh~

Don't wana go school.
Don't wana face things that i don't wana face.
Or,
am i thinking too much again?

Nights.

Looking back

2009-10-07T01:58:00.004+08:00

I'm back.
Still in my holiday mood thou.
+
I miss my grandma, grandpa and uncle.
Wish they will be healthy and happy always. =)

My body and leg are all red.
DAMN itchy.
Either i have eaten something wrong or i came into contact with something that i'm allergic to.
ARGH!!

Went to work just now.
I was late.
Hmm, seems to be able to do better without my dear SM around.
Thurs gona work morning shift with him again.
I HATE it!
After that, BK with D and back home.
I realized something these few days,
i thought it is but it is not.
It's just that i'm not used to it when its not around & nothing more than that.

Everyone likes people who treat them good.
This is it.
VERY BAD huh. =(

I love this song so much so much.
Maybe because this is the 1st song eu sang infront of me.
I even think that eu sing better than the original singer.
&
I'll sing this song whenever i go K with my friends.

I always like to think back.
" What if i'm not like this?"
"What if i had done this earlier?"
"Will the outcome still be the same?"

Why are we created with eyes on the front & not at the back?
Because we are supposed to look forward and not look back.

Sometimes,
doesn't mean that eu must be with that person eu like.
Maybe just think of him/her is enough already.

School is starting real soon.
Am i looking forward to it?
I doubt so.

I'm going to bed now.
I need wake up at 1030 tml.
Settle my stuffs first follow by lunch at amk with D.
&
EXERCISE with my friends.
I want everyday will be a good day.

Why can't i be like ' them '?

Motivation

2009-10-01T16:26:00.005+08:00

Packing my bag now.
And busy downloading song.
=X
I'm going to relax, eat & shop for all i can.
I miss my friends.
SILLY.
I hate the time when i need to come back to Singapore.
Will everything change.
I've got a feeling.

Tell myself that i will definitely improve.
DKNY, RALPH LAUREN,
I'm coming.
Last, eu are there to listen to my problems recently.
Really a big thanks.

Sometimes, i really don't mean anything.
But some take it very seriously.
=(
I hope everything will be good.

Will be back 5 days later.

SIGH

2009-09-29T23:54:00.003+08:00

So long never update le huh.
Because i'm tired + lazy.
Been working morning shift again from mon.
Just back from watching a movie called "The Ugly Truth".
It's funny and nice but i kind of think that i watched with the wrong people thou.
haha.

What can i say.
Still learning in process.
So much expectations that i wana reach for myself.

Today, once again, i cried in bar.
DAMN MALU.
Should i be proud that i express out all my emotions thru crying which i'll be okie once i finish crying or is it better to bottled everything up in my heart?
But i cannot hide my emotions inside me.
Guess this is something that i cannot change.
So immature huh. =(

I read this from somewhere:

I cry doesn't mean i'm weak.
You don't cry doesn't mean eu are strong.
How true.

I need a break seriously.
After tml, i'll get a 5 days off from work.
Finally i can take a break away from Singapore.

Let everything starts from zero can..

OH.

2009-09-26T03:39:00.003+08:00

It's really very demoralizing to see the big word '' FAILED " in the com screen.
I won't wana take the car license if i have a choice.

So after my ftt, i went to cine to meet my friends to watch phobia 2.
The movie sucks seriously.

Met up with my poly mates for dinner at 630pm.
Walk all the way from ion to ps because i wanted to try the Manhattan fish market which i have never tried before.
The queue was freaking freaking long.
ZX have to rush home early & thus cannot wait.
So we settle for The Cafe Cartel, like again. =(
But the pork rib was nice.

1030pm meet up with my friends again to jurong east.
They wanted to go prawning.
& for freaking 3 hrs plus,
we only have 1 prawn in our net. =.=
Sleepy and boring looking at other ppl 's net which is full of prawns.
I cannot upload photos.
Desktop too slow.
YAWNS*
My nose hurts.
+
I'm super sleepy.
Nights.

T_T

2009-09-24T00:08:00.007+08:00

Just saw my result.
What can i say.
Aww, my GPA drop drop drop.
='(
My friend so sarcastic.
Say i always late + always slack can get this result very good liao.
@#$%^&*!
So no mood now.
I have 1 more sem left only.
I want my GPA to increase.
Say is always easier than to do it la huh.

Tml is studying time.
Friday is gathering time.
Sat is working time.
So sad so sad.
='(

Complicated

2009-09-22T23:59:00.005+08:00

Been working morning shift for the past 2 days.
I don't like morning shift.
Must wake up damn early + alot of craps.
Make me so freaking tired. =(

Had dinner with D just now.
Kind of hate him sometimes.
Cause other than bar thingy, he is the one who make me so freaking bad mood for the past 2 days.
So we discussed about our work.
He says this is normal, and that everyone will have to pass thru this stage.
He says i'm over reacting. =X
I have to understand that this is life.
I'll try to understand.
He can be very nice.
But,
He can be very cruel sometimes as well.

I won't be angry, neither will i be sad for long.
I just hate it when everything go haywire.
When this certain thing is not going in the right direction, others seem to be following.
Hais~

No worries, i'm going holidays next week.
And also to get my swatch watch back.
Friday, my ftt.
SURE FAIL.
I haven't even open the book and read.
=(

I tried to lock the door because i don't wana let anyone in.
But,
Why must eu force open the door,
When eu already have your own door that is already open.
And do eu know that i'll need time to fix the door back.
Is this right?

I treat people i love with true feelings.
But, why can't they do the same.

Attitude

2009-09-20T01:31:00.004+08:00

I'm at wei en's house now.
I'm blogging while they are playing monopoly.
Just now we went to sl hs to give him a surprise cause it's his birthday.
But i think he wasn't shock at all. =(
Yup, talk about something good first.
Today i bought my LV wallet.
And i only spent 1/3 for that wallet. HOHO.

The rest of the content will be nothing good.
Seriously, i HATE DOING BAR.
I've got no passion in it anymore.
Who are eu all to show me attitude?!
When even my mum don't give me attitude.
What for work hard for people like eu all.

I've no intention to leave yet.
I still got that little bit wana learn.
But when even that little bit turns to zero, i think there is no point to stay on anymore.
Im paid to work, so are eu all.
I'm not paid to let people vent their anger on me.
If i really don't wana learn,
Don't say 3 days, 3 weeks i also won't improve.
What for i care so much.

I'm seriously not happy from the day i started doing bar.
Tell me what i should do.
I need eu.
='(
='(