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Friday, January 1, 2010, 1/01/2010 08:27:00 PM
HELLO TO 2010
So 2009 ended yesterday. &
I never went for any countdown party with friends which is oh so sad.
I guess i did miss alot of fun.
I rmb saying to all my friends that i don't wana go back.
But now, i would rather stay there than to be back.
Most of them said that 2009 wasn't a good year for them and they hope that 2010 will be good.
And 2010 will be = my 21ST.
DAMN SAD OKAY.
='(
In the past 20 years, indeed i guess 2009 is damn bad year.
In the beginning of year 09, i think i hurt someone and did stuffs that will make others think worst of me.
And because of this, there is already a crack created in my second r/s even before we started.
I care alot alot for him but i did it in a wrong way,
i tried to control him.
I don't treat relationship as a game.
I always don't think that love must come with alot of conditions.
But my actions back then reflects the other way.
So i did all that i could to save.
In the end, my efforts still went deep down the drain.
I thought i would understand eu when i only knew eu for less than 6 months as compared to someone whom knew eu for more than 2 years.
No matter what they said, i still insist doing it in my ways.
But somehow, maybe they are right.
&
Again, i lost another best friend of mine bcos of this.
I said things that hurt him.
It was so hurting that he really gave up on me this time.
If we were to see each other outside,
i guess we are worst than strangers.
&&
Also, my grandpa's health is deteriorating.
Just hope he will be fine.
Often, when we know it's our fault,
there is nothing that we can do.
All we could do or say is:
" It's my fault, sorry."
&
They will then put a full stop to it.
My friend told me,
put urself in their shoes.
What will i do if i were in his shoes?
I ponder awhile.
I guess i will do the same thing as he does.
Cause this is what i did to others too. ):
I failed twice.
I don't wana fail again.
I wonder why is clubbing and money so important to eu.
What's my new year resolution?
The next one that comes along, i swear i will never give myself another chance to regret again.
Gonna obtain my license soon, my car is coming! :)
All my friends and family will remain healthy forever!
I hope my future won't be so blur like now.
I'm gona smile and be more sociable.
I wish all the sad stuffs will just be gone like year 09, which will nvr exist again.
& also last,
everything will go smoothly for eu.
Hope it will really be a HAPPY NEW YEAR.