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    Layout: vehemency
    Icon: reruntherace
    Monday, March 29, 2010, 3/29/2010 03:00:00 AM
    PAST

    Last last time i used to think that guys who go clubs often, smoke, drink alcohol are not good guys.
    But now, i do change that thinking.

    Maybe some really ARE bad, but no doubt there are good ones.
    All depends on your behaviour inside clubs.

    Recently been going clubs with friends.
    Purely just wana chill and enjoy with them together.
    Just loud loud music, alcohol and dance, nothing else.

    People go clubbing because they have nothing to do.
    &
    With the effect of loud loud music + alcohol,
    it will keep eu happy for that night, don't need to think about anything else.

    So everyone,
    people who go clubbing doesn't necessay means that they are BAD.
    If eu know what eu are doing inside, i think thats not a problem.
    :)

    So thursday, i went PLAY with a group of girlfriends.
    But, not wanting to elaborate much,
    i guess i will prefer normal clubs though.
    HAHAHA.

    Friday, went mahjong at my friend's friend's house after work.
    Then, off to give shen han his birthday present.
    &
    it's late by 2 weeks.
    But can see he is happy when he received it lar.
    =P

    It's really great to have friends that care for eu.
    Just those 'care' like a normal good friend.

    So what happen during yesterday?
    Went esplanade to chill with justin.
    &
    We or rather, he saw us.  
    I'm still wanting to save our friendship.
    But, from his attitude,
    I know we won't be friends anymore.
    How sad seriously. 
    well, maybe this is my karma. 
    =(

    Then, went off to justin's friend's house to play texas. 
    Nice lor :] 
    We won $3.40, better than nothing.
    Loves making new friends. ^ ^

    Been sleeping less than 8 hours everyday.
    Eat only 2 meals almost everyday.
    Working is tiring.
    HAIS!
    No wonder i so thin!  ='(

    My mum and dad is going m'ysia this fri for a few days!
    I've to plan what i'm gona do these few days.
    Gonna hang out with friends.
    I don't wana stay at home!

    Last, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
    Trying my best to smile every moment. 

    I realised when i treat people good, they don't treat me good.
    When i don't, they does.

    GOOD NIGHTS.




    Saturday, March 27, 2010, 3/27/2010 03:14:00 AM
    FREAKING UNFAIR

    SO SO UNFAIR!
    WHY?!

    Is money really very important?
    IT IS, DEFINITELY.

    I've got a friend.
    He is not that close to me.

    That time, he msg me wanting to borrow some money from me.
    I lent him, twice.
    But not the 3rd and 4th time.
    I know the money is not used for smth important.
    &
    When i didn't lent him for the 3rd and 4th time, he didn't reply and never contact me anymore.

    DO I LOOK LIKE AN ATM MACHINE?!
    So only when he wana lent some money, then he will think of me.
    @#$%^(*&)!

    &&

    This time, it was another person.
    I was the one who initiate of using this money to help him.
    Though it might not be alot,
    but i don't even bear to use this amount for myself.
    It was my hard earn money, seriously.

    I work, i help.
    He promised he will quit after he settles everything.
    LIES.
    Now, what i get is nothing.

    I help them, i still must see their attitude.
    I don't wana help those who are not worth it, can i?

    The one who stays is the one that treats themselves better than anyone.

    I really believe in karma.

    Somehow, i wish UNI starts earlier.
    I wana study, wana make new friends.

    &&&
    Is accepting a new r/s the only choice for forgetting the past one?




    Thursday, March 25, 2010, 3/25/2010 03:55:00 AM
    FUCKING FUCKING SHIT

    I'm here again :)

    Yup, i used 1 month to complete my 20 car lessons.
    HAPPY**
    &
    I think in less than a month, i can book TP le!
    But i see the points system, i SIAN half.
    No wonder most people won't pass the first time.

    I'm always late for lessons.
    Damn waste money please.
    &
    SSDC only about 10 mins walk from my house.
    I think the nearer eu live, the even later eu will reach.
    I hope i can drive to school everyday if i can get into uni.


    Now, damn headache about my 21ST.
    Where to celebrate?
    Who to ask?
    Who confirm can make it?
    Theme?
    My friend says i should start planning now.
    Hate this man!
    But i definitely hope that my 21ST will be a good one.


    I always took the initiative, ALWAYS.
    I know everyone have their own problems.
    Just that some don't show.

    I show, and i write out.
    I'm not feeling happy since a year ago until now.
    Maybe i'm not as good as others.
    Maybe i'm this, i'm that.

    I'm at my max le.
    I can't go on anymore.
    I'm really tired.

    And i don't know why i'm still caring,
    When i know you don't even fucking care at all.

    I rather be the one that have hurt eu.

    Although i envy others how loving they can be,
    But i swear,
    I WILL NEVER EVER WANA GET INTO THIS KIND OF FUCKING SHIT AGAIN!!




    Tuesday, March 23, 2010, 3/23/2010 01:20:00 AM
    Get the shit out

    4 hours of lessons is cool.
    Wasn't tired at all.
    Still have another half to go.
    :)

    I can see that every instructor is different.
    Some really wants eu to do well.
    So, maybe a minor mistake, they will screw eu up.

    Those who don't bother, they just say what they have to say for that lesson & thats it.


    So i did went down to SIM today.
    With gl and justin, they are nice as they pei me go.

    UOL : Banking and Finance.
    And its exam-based.
    Tell myself that i won't regret.
    Won't won't WON'T.

    Watch Pandora Box.
    Hmm, it's a lame show and i don't really understand.
    Maybe just a little funny.
    ha-ha-ha.

    I thought about this in the train on my way home just now.

    If i've told eu earlier that i really don't mind eu as a repeat student.
    Really don't mind what eu are doing now.
    What will the outcome be?

    People will tend to only remember the people who have hurt them and not the other way round.
    How true.
    Like me towards my mum.

    Today i have a short short conversation with her about my uni stuffs.
    I seldom get to talk to her.
    Cause either by the time i came home, she've fallen asleep or,
    she have already gone to work before i wake up in the morning.

    I don't really like to face her & even show her attitude sometimes.
    We are not as if very rich but,
    she say as long as i wana study,
    don't need to worry about the money.
    They will support me.

    At first, i thought it was natural that they should pay for my studies as they are my parents.
    She tries to fulfill what i want.
    She get me stuffs.

    Thus, all my surrounding friends said that i've good parents and i don't have to worry about lots of things.

    Maybe because i grew up in such surrounding that i do not need to earn money to support myself or anything,
    i tend to take my personal matters as everything.

    &
    Up to now, i'm still hanging in the air.

    Can i just be abit more stronger?

    I read this somewhere. It says:

    When life gets too comfortable, it become uncomfortable.

    Results are releasing later.
    &
    I hope eu will pass all.
    GOOD LUCK EVERYONE.




    Monday, March 22, 2010, 3/22/2010 03:14:00 AM
    BORED LIFE

    Life is bored.
    Seriously BORED.

    Thinking what to do, where to hang out, who to ask during my off days is a BIG HEADACHE.

    I'm always out everyday until if at any point of time i'm at home, i feel sort of weird.
    Maybe i should spent more time at home, starts to like staying at home.
    Bullshit**
    :X

    Tell eu a secret, i wish i have a bf NOW NOW NOW.
    So wish la.
    At least won't be so bored.
    But he will suffer.

    Although i'm trying to convince myself that alone is better in some ways too,
    but seeing all the couples around me,
    i will go like =.= =.=l =.=ll
    Lols.
    :(

    Im gona have a 4 hours of car lessons later.
    OMG.
    Follow by going somewhere for my passport photo.
    &
    going to the uni to hand in my application.

    Business Management or Banking and Finance?
    Still can't decide.

    BORED TO THE MAX.
    Club everyday?
    Whats so good about being sober.
    OPPS.

    After that,
    Wed and Fri off again.

    Can i just have 1 day of your time?
    Just the 2 of us.
    Play, talk, walk & enjoy like nobody's business.
    Hang out like very normal good friends.

    GOD, just treat me abit better can? :)

    Nights.




    Sunday, March 21, 2010, 3/21/2010 05:01:00 AM
    Tough decision

    Sometimes in life, we have to make alot of tough decisions.
    &
    The fact is that i hate making decisions.
    But i have to.
    No one can decide my future other than me.

    HAIS*

    People are selfish, seriously to the core.
    They only think about themselves.
    Maybe i'm one of them too.

    &&

    If i have the fucking money, i will fucking get eu out of my mind.

    How bored can life be.
    BORING.
    :(




    Friday, March 19, 2010, 3/19/2010 02:53:00 AM
    Expect the least expected

    I think i had a nice day today.
    :)
    Although it was just 6 hours spend with them.
    But somehow, i feel kind of 'contented'.

    We all went K today.
    Yaoren, Jackie, Justin, Guo liang, Marcus & cm.

    I know some of my friends care for me.
    But i still prefer to face it so i ask justin to ask.
    & 'face it' is just another good term.

    &&
    He did came.
    He did sing.
    I did hear him sing.

    But,
    time won't stop.
    It's always moving.
    After few days later, everything will be different.

    If i say i think too much, i will think that eu care for me, maybe just abit, in some ways.
    But i don't wana think it this way.
    And i will stop thinking,
    stop thinking about eu.

    This whole scene that happened today, it's long ago being pictured in my mind.
    I thought it wouldn't happen, but somehow it did.
    I'm greedy sometimes, i asked for more.
    I think it's enough this time.
    Be contented LY.

    &
    Thanks Friends (:




    Wednesday, March 17, 2010, 3/17/2010 03:17:00 AM
    Easy yet hard

    I guess it's time to update my blog le.
    Been left here for so long.

    So first thing,
    What about school?
    Since 3 weeks that i unofficially graduated.
    Applied for NTU.
    &
    The person called me 1 day in the morning from ntu saying that i submitted an N level cert instead of an O level cert.
    =.=
    How careless!
    &
    I don't remember where's my O level cert.
    GOSH!
    So doubt i will get a place in there.
    But actually i don't really wana study in ntu cause it's stress and i could only choose engineering courses which i hate.

    Not NTU, then will be SMU, SIM.
    More keen on SIM maybe cause it's a private school and they have the courses i wanted to study since after my O.
    But, it's expensive as well.
    Part-time study was never a choice that i will consider.
    Actually, i know my parents kind of want me to get into uni also.

    I'm so confused.
    I don't want to work first cause i think that i still can afford to study for another 3 years.
    At least after 3 years, i will work.
    Seriously don't know what to do, although my mum says just apply, just study, but well... ...
    =(

    Second thing, my part-time job.
    Been waking up damn early in the weekends that my face kind of have rashes which are red and itchy.
    Did bar bar bar.
    Tiring than floor.
    Hate bangs but like bangs sometimes.
    Always wanted to know the limit that i can go until.

    &
    Will always get a sense of satisfaction when all the drinks are out at a very short period of time.
    Will be proud of myself sometimes.
    :)
    So somehow they say there will be a 'promotion' for me.
    Promotion = pay rise.
    Wasn't at all happy.
    Maybe there isn't any.
    Who knows.
    And i already thought of changing jobs.
    Just a matter of time.
    Last, i enjoyed my day with Alan today somehow.
    Watch Jack Neo's film: Being Human
    Everyone is talking about him now.
    He is the headlines everywhere.
    So this is what happens when eu are rich.
    Know how to film this movie but dono how to be a human himself.
    STUPID.
    Rather choose a poor and faithfully guy than a rich and unfaithfully one.
    Then we went for a spin and supper.
    He is a shy but nice guy.
    Why like my status.
    I'm thinking but i know the answer.
    You have flaws, so do i.
    I can accept yours.
    The next one that i can accepts means i like him.
    Sounds easy yet hard.
    My mum always ask me change that attitude of mine.
    & i know if i doesn't change,
    it will get me nowhere.
    It's easy to say eu will change, i thought i can.
    But i can't.
    Neither can eu.
    Once i love something, its hard for me to let go.
    I'm born this way.
    I'm born with this thinking towards love.
    This is not something which i can change easily.
    Maybe it's plain stupid and foolish.
    But,
    I seriously don't think it is something bad.
    Everything is just a matter of time.
    I know there's nothing as cannot, only whether eu want to try anot.




    Thursday, March 4, 2010, 3/04/2010 02:59:00 PM
    OVER

    I ended my poly life yesterday.
    SUPER SAD AND EMOTIONAL.
    Where should i head to now.
    Somehow i wish someone is there to guide me...